


A journal at Corepoint

by WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka



Category: The Broken Earth Series - N. K. Jemisin
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka/pseuds/WhtdUmeanthsNOvodka
Summary: What happens, mainly on Schaffa, during the blank space when the Moon has returned and the stone eaters are underground with Father Earth.Stage: near the end of SK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	A journal at Corepoint

Schaffa’s is more robust than he appears to Danel’s empirical eyes. For the rest of the night and the next day, he stands almost entirely on his own despite whatever must have attempted to wreck him. But when the temperature starts to drop rapidly after sunset, he becomes paler and fainter, and has to spend the next few days in bed probably just out of exhaustion. In those days they take turns to nurse him, for Nassun cares for him, and a parentless child should be offered helping hands. Although Tonkee is impatient, complains a lot and is caught several times sneakily working on her notes or examining furniture instead. In which case Hjarka somehow plays a rusting Leader’s role in this immediate community, though she basically leaves the others be and puts her major responsibility in watching her partner so she would not hurt herself again. Danel extends her nursing shifts, mainly to trap information out of the geriatric; to whom Schaffa says not a word.  
His wound heals slowly but remarkably once Danel and Hjarka placed him on bed under Nassun’s guidance. That burgundy scar has turned kind of sand colored, flat and smooth as oppose to his old one. He’s been scratching it for a while, but there is no infection, and he stopped once Nassun told him not to. But one evening for no clear reason he suddenly went down again with a fever which lasts eleven days. At first they wonder if it is an infection: if only Lerna made the trip too; but soon they all accept that there are conditions that even doctors can’t help with. Their patient is just aged.  
Schaffa’s long hair fades fast into light gray, which fits well with his crinkled skin, but the fading process doesn’t make sense: you GROW some white hair and lose your old hair evenly and gradually. With his, it kind of looks like a dark dye wore off, and it is supposed to be gray in the first place.  
Days go by and they tacitly stop visiting. There is nothing they can do with the remains of his life; Schaffa stands against the inevitable on his own.

* * *

Before dawn, the old man wakes.  
The first thing he notices, is numbness. Like waking up from death. For only in death had he dreamed of sleep, of rest that is painless, which is what he wakes up from this morning. He returns to himself, and is again surprised that there is only himself. He doesn’t think he will ever get used to it.  
On the couch next to him, Nassun is peacefully asleep. That’s rare; orogene kids hardly relax in their rests, especially those who suffered so much. Can’t disturb her. Schaffa closes his eyes and by habit tries to make plans for today. Can’t remember what he should be working on. He must have slept too well, that’s not good. Nassun will be happy to know that, but he feels guilty to. He is not used to being spoiled either.  
What a day with nothing to do. He sighs, but just as he inhales an unexpected strange noise like heavy wind blowing in a hollow cave escapes his throat. Oh no.  
That small sound is enough to wake Nassun. She jumps up like a frightened little animal: “Schaffa?” Her voice is low, almost inaudible.  
“Good morning, little one.” He strides towards her and pets her on the head, “I’m alright.”

Before the first of the two daily meals, Schaffa likes to take a short walk with Nassun for some sunlight. He will not complain, but his feet ache from walking and he probably can’t travel far anymore. The ache, as other minor discomforts he’s been learning of since waking up from the surgery, is nothing compares to what he suffered from incessantly his whole life; but then, his body has gone weak too.  
They spot Hjarka and Tonkee heading to the coast. Schaffa stares at Tonkee’s back and frowns. He believes he recognizes her from a glance somewhere a long time ago, but can’t think of anything to support such assumption. Not one of his children. But he doesn’t remember much of them either.  
They walk in silence towards Essun as usual.

Schaffa is not enthusiastic with eating mainly because it’s not enjoyable. He experiences toothache here and there all the time, probably the result of gnashing in pain for so long a life. There’s even an upper tooth about to loose, he has to remind himself every few minutes not to lick it.  
Nevertheless, he insists on preparing meals for the two of them like old times. The former guardian, protector and father may be deprived of his strength, but not ever his responsibility. Besides, he seems to retain some memory of how kitchens work in Corepoint. But at the end of the day, he wishes Nassun doesn’t realize that he does so mainly to have control over the texture of food in a dignified way.  
Nassun speaks to him outside the kitchen, a whole sentence, but he fails to capture the message so he has to ask her to repeat. She is going upstairs to check the garden while food is being boiled. Yes, go ahead; you do an excellent job with plants, little one.  
It happened before. Maybe he is forgetting Sanze-mat. Or maybe his hearing has gone worse.  
When Schaffa is opening the top cupboard, sudden stitching pain strikes through his chest and freezes him. Of course no one is around. He slides on the counter and subconsciously puts on a smile, hopes for it to pass. A sign of heart failure? Can’t let Nassun know about this.

Before sunset, they go to the roof to water the vegetation. Something else they can do together, whenever Nassun need to use both hands, he is there. Just a few weeks ago Schaffa talked a friendly stone eater into helping Nassun to remove that stoned hand; now there’s only a thin slice of brown stone at the end of her wrist. She seems to have better balance than before. Strong girl.  
A handmade star map has been dropped in the top floor hallway for quite some days. Apparently, Tonkee wanted to record the daily changes to the Moon’s visual diameter by comparing it to the background of unmoved stars. Her interest must have turned elsewhere. Schaffa once noticed that one of her hands can’t do delicate operations, given that arm must have once been detached. Now is a time where such thing happens a lot. Many people do manage to move on.  
He glares at Nassun’s little head: what will she become when she grows up?  
She adapts well to this foreign place. She has proved herself a survivor in the past, though as a skillful orogene that she can no longer be. From now on she must oppress her instincts just to be alive. Will she be safe? Will she find peace?  
Her mother’s friends are reliable, at least before resources run out or some riot bursts out. Those still would happen. That’s the problem. She has to return to a world of chaos and uncertainty, and he is not going to be there.  
How would she live alone in a world that didn’t want her, that has hurt her, one that is filled of people she has no wish to live among?  
Schaffa can’t solve that problem yet.

The sun is with Stillness and Schaffa returns to bed. As he is alone for the moment, he tries to search in memory some more about Essun, whatever name she used to take, but again ends up only with frustration. He knows he could ask as soon as Nassun comes in, but he’d rather give up another day. So he thinks instead about what he dreamed of this morning. He dreams in every sleep now, although often can’t remember much once wake up. A small number of them are, he assumes, of people he knew, but most of the time they are surreal and meaningless, and for that rather interesting.  
And by the time Nassun comes in the room, Schaffa is in the realm of dreams already. His mouth is not fully closed, looks kind of adorable.  
“Good night, Schaffa.” Nassun kisses his forehead and giggles. Tomorrow, he’s going to apologize for falling asleep without kissing her goodnight. That’s alright; they’ll have the whole day together.

* * *

Nearly four months later Schaffa cannot get out of bed as much anymore. He looks in good health, but senile indeed. Many times when Nassun catches sight of him, she has to check his silver just to make sure he’s still alive.  
He is yet alive, and trying to stay that way. When he eats, his cheeks twitch just to move the food, and Nassun can see that for him even eating becomes a difficult task and ironically drains his energy, but he puts the last spoon of soup into his mouth with clawed and trembled hand still. He wishes to live longer.  
Although with the best nutrition they could manage, Schaffa has withered. There’s barely any flesh to his back, every time Nassun walks him to the toilet (he insists to), his bones hurt her arms a little. His time in there is longer now.  
His eyesight is now as bad as his hearing, if not worse. It upsets him and leaves him little things he could do. He stares at the center of his sight a lot and loses in deep thoughts a lot. But to Nassun’s presence he reacts positively, although he also often tells her to spend more time with other kids too. Nassun isn’t sure if he is referring to Danel, Hjarka and Tonkee (maybe he’s saying she’s big enough to be one of them now, or he is old enough to call anyone a kid), or the kids in Found Moon and that he is confused. She does whatever he tells her to do. Whenever Nassun is with him though, he listens whole-heartedly, and fixes eyes on her all the time.  
One day, as Nassun lingers by the door, out of the blue, he calls: “Come here, Damaya.”  
He sometimes calls her “little one”, other times her name; he remembers the existence of the other three, but he once frowned over their names so she introduced them again. But he always knew who Nassun was. Until now.  
But the look on his face. He smiles, in a way that reminds Nassun of that truly relieved look on his face when he was freed from the corestone. So Nassun says nothing and hold his hand.  
“Oh. I’m sorry, Nassun. For a moment I thought you were someone else.” all of a sudden Schaffa looks embarrassed and confused, “… Damaya?” He touches his own lips, frowning.  
And the next day, Schaffa is completely blind.

The process of life’s design does not stop.


End file.
